We humans get outraged at a lot of things. The disabled having the audacity to claim benefits for their illnesses. ADHD not being a ‘real condition’. Immigration destroying our economy and taking away our jobs because the internet says it does. Zoella paying a ghost writer to write a book (isn’t that what they’re for!?) Ed Miliband not eating a bacon sandwich with decent etiquette.
And now apparently, two happily consenting adults getting married is upsetting the anonymous internet mob who clearly live their lives to a predetermined (and questionable) definition of perfection. The source of the sheer horror that is causing mouthfuls of Earl grey tea to be spluttered across Dell Monitors across the land and monocles to crash unceremoniously to the floor after being dislodged from widened eye sockets?
There’s an age difference between Stephen Fry and his fiance Elliot Spencer. Ah, that old chestnut (no offence Stephen).
My first thought when the news of the engagement was circulating on Twitter this morning was: “Well, good for them, that’s sweet’ and other various well meaning but largely inconsequential wishes saved for people I do not know. It’s nice to hear of happiness and, as a married man myself, I take nothing but joy in knowing that a couple are taking a journey and having the chance at the same dizzying heights of happiness that I feel every day with my wife.
It also pleases me to see another public figure making use of the long overdue ability to share in the same human rights that all humans have as gay adults; to marry the person they love. Naive me was sitting thinking that each time a bigot struggles to argue against the happy sight of a well known man or woman marrying someone of their own gender and looking (shock, horror!) happy and normal must surely go towards reducing the dark cloud of discrimination that still hangs over gay marriage from a small minority.
But, I forget, we are humans and so, if we fail to find fault with one issue, we’ll do our damned hardest to find fault elsewhere.
Stephen Fry and Elliot Spencer have an age gap and a fairly significant one which, in the eyes of a shocking quantity on social media, is akin to the kicking of a fluffy kitten. Quite how it is anybody’s business as to the details of the private life of two consenting adults is beyond me but, in something that is out of the control of Stephen (who tweeted that he would have preferred a private wedding), the news has come into public domain and the judgements of the mob mentality who have read no further than a headline have been made. So let’s address it.
And it’s really simple but read slowly and re-read the sentence if it presents any difficulty in being mentally digested.
Okay, here goes. You ready? People of different ages can get along, become friends and fall in love. Yeah, it really is that simple. It’s an age old, cliche line but age really is just a number. Your length of time on the planet should not restrict who you can form bonds with. There are no crimes being committed here, no cause for outrage: we simply have two adults who have fallen in love and want to marry eachother.
Why on Earth would any legitimate human being find a problem with that? Who are they to sit and judge the lives of people they don’t know anything about? The judgemental approach to the age gap of adults is as archaic as the outrage over homosexuality and multicultural relationships.
I thought we were starting to develop as a race and become accepting of the fact that love has few boundaries. Gender is not a boundary, race is not a boundary and therefore, the ages of two adults is not a boundary either.
Anyone who is sitting feeling offended that two people are getting married that aren’t the same age need to realise that it isn’t Elliot who needs to grow up. The problem lies with the bigots.
I can’t wait to see Stephen and Elliot prove the trolls wrong and enjoy one of the happiest days of their lives, as equal partners in a loving relationship. Good on you, chaps.